The place is all dusty and musty. The back wall of the front counter is covered in old, dirty mirrors. The lights are dim and the floorboards are creaky. The aisles are stocked with frilly old lace things, heavily-used suits from decades forgotten, and masks. You're fucked. You look around for a mask, since a petticoat-corset-tophat-monocle combo isn't gonna work with your jeans.You see the cashier eyeing you eyeing all the junk hanging up in The Closet. You see your unadorned, regular self in the dozens of tarnished old mirrors behind her. She leans over the counter hard, squinting at you.You squint back.She beckons you with a curling finger, so you approach the counter. As you do, she pulls out a mirror from below, still leaning intensely over the counter-top."Here, try this on."The attendant is kinda creepy, wearing a half-mask over her eyes herself, but she offers real friendly-like, so you take the mask, and are about to try it on when you see it's completely white and almost. I know you don't like it, and you've had one lot of probes up you already today, but would you do one more for me?" Surely Hilary will give you some of those cells, won't she?" That's not what I'm after. I'd like some cervical cells. Take a look at the real enemy, before I kill it."Sue agreed, and I helped her up on to a bench. Not as good as the Medical section's couch, but it saved a trip. The sample took very little time to collect, and I quickly swung into action to prepare it for slides."Are you going to leave me up here?", came a plaintive call from the bench."Sorry, love, but this needs doing fast. I don't have the right smear test equipment here, and if I don't preserve the cells right away, they'll all look abnormal. There - done."I helped her down and finished preparing the smear cells, and we headed back towards the meeting room.A consensus had been reached. Suddenly, everybody was looking a little coy. We soon found out why. Richards delicately asked if we would mind.
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